Friday, December 15, 2006

Democrat Xmas

You guys'll get a kick out of this. It's an email that my mom received from an old friend. Note: Please don't copy this and use it - I don't know who wrote it, so I don't know who gets the credit. It is simply too funny for me to resist posting it on The Christmas Watch. Also, I haven't been on here for a while, and I've just noticed that we have a new member, PatrickA. Welcome, PatrickA.

Okay, here's the email in red:

For My Democrat Friends:


"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."



For My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


I thought you all might enjoy that. I still haven't finished laughing!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, I love it. One thing: it should have said "of the Common era" after 2007!

Faultline USA said...

That letter is just really too good. I'm linking to you in my next post so that folks can read it!!!

Anonymous said...

That is good! Although, to avoid backlash from conservative democrats (those that actually exist), it should probably say "liberals & conservatives" rather than "democrats & republicans."

P.S. Thanks for linking "The Christmas Watch" in one of your posts, Faultline!

LeeAnna said...

HAHAHAH!
I love that!
I can just picture a democrat (or republican, really, for that matter) reading that out to America on CNN news on Christmas eve.
LOVE'N IT!


Lanna

Austin said...

conservative democrats? What is this strange new phenomenon? Is that like Nazi Christians and jumbo shrimp?

I've heard of liberal Republicans. To save time and breath I just call them suck-ups.

Faultline USA said...

In a letter to members it was pointed out by Roy Beck, Executive Director of NumbersUSA Education & Research Foundation, and recipient of the first United Methodist Communicator of the Year award as Associate Editor of the United Methodist Reporter, that many religious leaders will use their microphones and pulpits to advocate for open borders and for the “rights” of illegal immigrants, “to decry the raids and to equate illegal aliens with Mary and Joseph and their newborn babe.” . . .

Read: “Your Mainline Christmas Sermon: Immigration and Social Justice”
at http://faultlineusa.blogspot.com/2006/12/your-mainline-christmas-sermon.html

Austin said...

Mary and Joseph were not in Bethlehem illegally. In fact, it would have been illegal for them not to go. They were ordered by the government to go.